Thursday, March 27, 2008

it's you...

Kasihku usia sudah cintamu
Cinta yang kudamba selama ini
Mengapa ku biarkan terjadi
Rasanya ku tak percaya semua ini
Aku masih menyayangimu
Ku tak ingin semua berlalu
Bila mungkin engkau kembali
Kembalilah kembali padaku
Seperti waktu yang dulu
Bermanja kita berdua
Hanya engkau yang mengerti
Tentang aku
Ku rasa hari-hari sepiku
Tanpa canda tawa bersamamu
Ku tahu ini semua salah ku
Aku tak mahu tanpamu
Ku rasa hari-hari sepi tanpamu

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Week

1.18am... tired... work not done... haven't packed... don't know what to bring...

God please make them give me the Lounge Pass tomorrow...

And may You strike down whoever took my rm18 japanese cigarette and lighter gift pack which i accidentally left on the table at Samantha's. Damn you whoever you are. I spent rm18 just to get that lighter with portable ashtray. At least have the decency to leave it with the manager or bartender!!! I drove all the way back just to find out that it's gone.. so if i ever find out who you are, you're cat food!


..... bitch.

I'm gonna be away for a while. So you all stay cool. Except for you, you thief. You son/daughter of a bitch coward who picks up stuff people left behind without the slightest decency or civility to do what's right.... damn you to hell.



I miss you when I'm not supposed to.
I hope all is well going, at and coming from down there.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Weekender

Well there goes the week and the end of my one-week stint as Acting STSE Interiors. It was fun I must say, and thankfully nothing too major occured during that one week span, making the whole period of me being at the helm of this beloved section, enjoyable to say the least.

I am in love with my job. And I'm not trying to comfort myself. Really I do. Sure, the technical side is all meticulous and detailed and precise etc. But the whole experience of being in charge of the sole section of the aircraft that leaves the passenger with the final impression of the airline is actually fulfilling, and quite overwhelming, in a positive manner.

So, I think my aim to actually gain as much experience as I can in this field is something that is good for me and hopefully will land me in the position I really desire to be, one day, in this beloved company of mine. Although the management has a lot to make up for, I'm sure, one day, everything will fall into place and the whole mechanism of running this airline, at least from this aspect, will be on par with the rest of the 5-star airlines today. I am planning to ensure this will happen, and it requires nothing less then being on top of the arena; knowing as much of every inch of the field of aircraft interiors as realistically possible. (trust me, at the rate technology evolves, it's almost impossible). I love my airline, and nothing anyone can say about anything will change my mind about it. I may leave the job, but only in hopes of returning to my pride and joy as a more efficient, proficient and knowledgable leader. This I promise myself. Because, one day, I want to see my airline be ranked number 1 in every possible category for a commercial transport enterprise. Not so much because it represents my country, but rather because I grew up with this airline and, without any exaggeration whatsoever, it makes me feel at home as soon as I step on board at any foreign airport that I have been in. That's why, my company is so special to me.

Say what you want about shortfalls and weaknesses of our flagship carrier. The price, the service (both on and off ground), the meals, the seats, the punctuality etc. Sure, it may seem far below par or does not meet expectations or does not come close to making it worth your ticket price. But coming from the aviation industry, I can assure you, that all the negative things being said about my company is common within any airline serving the world today, including the other 5-star airlines. People say our neighbouring airline is 10 times better. Sure, you may be right. But did you ever actually stop and think about why you feel so? Did it ever occur to you that you feel so harshly towards your airline because it is your airline? Because it is your flagship carrier, any weakness will be amplified numerous times in your feelings and expressions because of the dissapointment and shame that it impedes onto you. It is exactly that, because if these weaknesses and voids were found in other foreign airlines, the complaints won't be as strong and harsh because you don't really care because it doesnt cost you anything in terms of pride and dignity. It's someone else's airline. But if it was your own, you would be more worried or offended more than the others.

So you see, it's not really the fact that my company is bad. But rather, its the perception that our flagship carrier should be perfect. There should be minimal weaknesses, or better yet, none at all. Because it represents our country. Our pride. Our identity.

Be that as it may, I am not denying that there is a lot to ask for from our current level of service. I am staff and I don't deny it. But hey, we're working on every inch of it. Trust me, we really are. Of course I will not disclose any of the work being done to address these issues, as clearly it is not my prerogative to do so. But things are being done and is being forcibly and strenuously being put into action. With the current leadership, everyone is pulling their weight to ensure that our service remains on top, in our strive to, one day, become the number 1 airline in the world. However, I won't put any optism on this. Because it doesn't require any. It WILL happen.

And why are am I so adamant about this? The answer is very simple. Because of money or rather, lack thereof. No I'm not complaining. I am saying that I am not making as much money as I am supposed to be. And of course, being the person that I am, this matters greatly. But for some reason, the realization, which has beseiged me for quite a while now, has rendered no negative effect on me. Instead, I am content. I love my job. And I don't mind putting the long hours and sometimes even weekends, just to get things done. It's just simply because I want everything to be correct so that I give my best product to this airline. And being in interiors, which pretty much is the only section within engineering that has most effect on the passenger during their travel, I find it the most fulfilling. (of course, there are more, much more critical areas within engineering that ensures the continuity and perfection of the day-to-day operation of the airline, but the passengers won't feel or see the same siginficance of this compared to that of the cabin, as they sit and wait until they reach their next destination)

Bottom line is, I love what I am doing and I will ensure that I give my very best, so that my pride and joy can continue to fly and serve our loyal passengers, and, most importantly, continue to be recognized as a 5-star, global airline leader, in our strive, to one day become the number one airline in the world.


Okay enough serious stuff,
I am feeling a little dizzy right now. Facebook is boring. The net is boring. No one is online at 4am. And of course, my email account is full of spam. So, to entertain myself, I was thinking of accepting and setting up all the invites I got on facebook (290). By the time I reached 287 I thought "screw this" and was trying to find a delete all the invites, but to no avail. It's amazing how people can keep the invite count down to zero. Their facebooks must be full of useless, mindless and pretty much cluttering crap. Although, it did keep me entertained for the past 15 minutes (while installing the software and inviting random ppl to install it - of course, by the time I realized how gay and boring this was, I was stressfully looking for the 'Clear All' button.

On a more trivial note, I got a plant today. Don't ask from where, from who or for how much. I just got it, and I think it's pretty cool. It's sort of a not-so-dense plant with long stalks but really small leaves. It's kinda big but I think it looks really cool in my cube. Sort of gives me a slight zen feeling, like how it was when I had all those awesome table-top mini fountains back in college. I wonder if the office allowed me to install those fountains in my cube... hmm, interesting.

So that pretty much wraps up my rambling about almost nothing. It's formula 1 weekend here in KL, and I really hope I get some last minute tix. I wonder if my sister was serious in her offer the other day. But then again, it might have been a "oh, by the way.." kinda thing and she totally forgot about it. Its cool. Watching it on the tube at home or at Chillis is way more comfortable and fulfilling anyway. (even the food is cheaper than the crap they sell at the circuit!)

Oh, and today I went to a wedding of a sort of a cousing of mine. And a lot of my extended family members were there. It sure was nice to meet up with them again and mingle. I can tick with them a little bit. Even though we meet almost zilch times a year. I met a lot of old but yet familiar faces. And even though I fumbled with their names, it gave me a sense of belonging and togetherness. The wedding was simple and nice. (Congratulations Mas - well done). I left the place with a sense of .... I don't know. Happy is not really the correct word. I think satisfied and relieved is more like it. While driving home, I couldn't help but think of planning some sort of a reunion kind of thing where I get in touch with all of them and we go for a 2 nite stay in some resort and just simply catch-up, and get to know each other better. I dont know if its a good idea, or even if its a feasible idea, but I think I'll put more thought into it. I mean, it's family. And in my life, they are almost non- existent. And I think, in so many ways, that's just wrong. Regardless of whose fault it is. If our elders weren't good at staying close, there's no reason we should do the same right? Right. So more thought it is then.

I hope it's really because of that (family), and not because I miss the sense of belonging...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

When the future becomes now...


Isn't it ironic, when the least expected happens...
Isn't it amazing, when the impossible becomes real...
Isn't it fantastic, when what was lost, returns...
Isn't it surreal, when fate changes what had seemed sealed...

Isn't it a pity, when lives are lost unlived...
Isn't it a crime, to lose what was rightfully possessed...
Isn't it a sin, when mistakes only lead to regret...
Isn't it a shame, when it's too late to deny the end...

Isn't it exciting, when the end brings a new beginning...
Isn't it sensational, to learn what should not be known...
Isn't it funny, when the false is perceived as real...
Isn't it confusing, when symphony drowns in the silence around...

Isn't it mortifying, when the denied is realized...
Isn't it piercing, when the irreversible is done...
Isn't it flawed, when destiny becomes undesired reality...
Isn't it perplexing, when denial disappears and reality stuns...

Isn't it awkward, when the future becomes now...
Isn't it weird, when now becomes the past...
Isn't it strange, when the forgotten is being remembered...
Isn't it peculiar, when what was done mattered none at last...

It is, isn't it?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Masih tertinggal bayanganmu...
Yang telah membekas di relung hatiku...
Hujan tanpa henti seolah pertanda...
Cinta tak di sini lagi...
Kau tlah berpaling...



Biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini...
Menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri...
Engkau pergi, aku takkan pergi...
Kau menjauh, aku takkan jauh...
Sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu...



Masih adakah cahaya rindumu...
Yang dulu selalu cerminkan hatimu...
Aku takkan bisa menghapus dirimu..
Meski ku lihat kini...
Kau di seberang sana...



Andai akhirnya...
Kau tak juga kembali...
Aku tetap sendiri...
Menjaga hati...


Biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini...
Menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri...
Engkau pergi, aku takkan pergi...
Kau menjauh, aku takkan jauh...
Sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu...

Sejujurnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu...

Friday, March 14, 2008

Long day..

A checklist for everything that happened today.

Personal life? None
Work load? Slightly better, but still fucked up.
Having to do stuff you don't really want to but you have to cuz its a family friend and you owe them? Check.
My boss and overall management of my division? Fucked Up
Car making squeaks when braking? i.e. brake pads out. Check.
Something to look forward to at work? None.
Hoping that some day a rich airline calls me up and buys me off? Yes. Silently.
Sick and tired of looking a certain faces you just feel like puking your shit out and shitting your vomit? Check.
Ipod? Havent played in three days.
Food? Breakfast Lunch and Dinner. Might damage my 1 kg a week decline.
Boredom Level? High

But,

at the end of this dreadful day, I saw this on gmail...

" Muka Awak HodohMuka saya pun hodoh tapi saya kaya Jangan jadi hodoh dan miskinwww.kayarabak.com "

....priceless.








February 7th 2005, 2.57PM. Akerman Hall, UofM Twin Cities. Working hard on final project: SAE-Boeing Heavy Lift aircraft. (Crashed to 7 pieces after 10 seconds airborne)

... good times.

Friday, March 7, 2008

maybank...

WelcometomaybankcustomercarethisisZurahowcanIhelpedyou?
Hi Zura, I'm calling you from your branch in Damansara Utama and I have a problem with one of your cash deposit machines.
Sure Sir I can help you. Can I get your name?
Hazim Ismail.
Encik Hazim Can I get your account number
1641258045
Encik Hazim can I get your mailing address for verification
660603 Fajaria Condo Jalan Pantai Baru Bangsar KL.
Postcode pls Encik Hazim
59200
Ok Encik Hazim, can I have your IC number?
8204170****5
Thanks Encik Hazim. And can I have your contact number?
012306***9
Ok and one more verification question En. Hazim, what is your car nickname?
Michelle
Ok Thanks for the verification En Hazim.
You sure you don't need to verify any further? I can give you my shirt size as well
No thank you Encik Hazim. Now what seems to be the problem?
Well like I said some time ago, I was trying to deposit some cash into my account when the machine died on me, with the cash in the machine. Then when I went to check the balance there the money wasnt debited.
Ok How much did you try and deposit Encik Hazim?
500 ringgit
Ok Please hold Encik Hazim.
-2 minutes-
Encik Hazim, did you say you were depositing 500 ringgit?
Yes
Please hold
-1 minute-
Was that all RM50 notes Encik Hazim?
Yes
Ok hold on ya
-2 minutes-
Encik Hazim do you happen to note which CDM machine was involved?
Number 1.
Please hold ya Encik Hazim
-3 minutes-
OK Encik Hazim, I have reported your case to our control center and they will inform the technician and security when they open the machine. They will then tally the transaction and once they find the extra money in the machine they will credit it back to your account and you will be notified.
Ok. So what time are they coming?
Oh Sorry Encik Hazim, this will take 3 to 7 working days.
You're kidding
Encik Hazim, this will take 3 to 7 working days.
So what am I suppose to eat for the next 3 days at least?
I'm sorry Encik Hazim thats all I can do for you now.
Can you get the technician to come out here now?
I'm sorry Encik Hazim but we cant do that. This involves security and the technician so they can only help when the machine is serviced.
So are you telling me that this machine will be out of service for the next 3 to 7 days??
No, the technician will probably come by tomorrow or day after.
So It could be as soon as tomorrow la?
Encik Hazim, this will take 3 to 7 days.
I know you said that already. But if the machine is going to be opened tomorrow I can get my cash then right?
Sorry En. Hazim, but these cases take 3 to 7 days.
And there is no compensation?
No Sir. Sorry
Fuckup Gila
Sorry Sir?
I said thats a bummer. So what am I supposed to do now?
Im sorry Encik Hazim, but theres nothing anyone can do but wait the 3 to 7 days
Yeah yeah I know. Stupid system thats all I can say. Well oklah. Nothing else to do right? All because your stupid machine died on me right?
Is there anything else I can do for you Encik Hazim?
Obviously not right?
Thank you for calling Mayb...(HUNG UP)

Fuckin Maybank I swear to God. Although they're a one stop solution for a lot of stuff. This ices the cake and makes the whole thing rotten. My money better turn up or I'll find Zura and shove her head up her ass.

Here goes a boring money-less weekend....

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

"Blogs are for singles"

"Blogs are for singles!" Yup. That's what he said. And I think Lock was on the ball with that one. I have to agree, that the only time I feel having a blog is not too lame and obnoxious is when I'm single. Like right now. Kalau tak.. haram nak nampak blogspot. I don't even read blogs whenever I was in a relationship. Hell, I was barely even online.

So what does that mean really? Does that mean that you are really not yourself when you are attached to another person? That you somehow change who you really are just so that you can adapt to the relationship? An adaptation that you deemed necessary upon yourself just so that you can feel loved by someone else? If that's the case then we're screwed aren't we?

I don't think so. It's just time. Time is actually the determining factor of whether or not you are able to reflect upon yourself. And by reflecting I mean blogging (or journalling if not blogging.. or whatever the heck you want to call it) My point is that it all boils down to time. Obviously, when you're in a relationship, you don't really have that much time to waste wandering around in cyberspace. Only quick pitstops to check your personal email, then swoosh, you're off on your next date. But the lack of time doesn't necessarily have to be a repercussion of being in a relationship.

I am not in a relationship right now, and yet I find that there's hardly enough time for me to blog. Hell, I don't even have enough time to check my Gmail nowadays. I'm too busy with work that I don't even have enough 'ME' time! But then again, the reason I am able to be working that hard without being too bothered by it is because of the fact that I am single...

... So I guess he is right... now that it has come full circle back to where we started i.e. SINGLE, I guess Ihe is right. Blogs are pretty much for singles.

Not that I hate being single, of course. I think I'm enjoying the moment for now. Not much to think about in terms of personal life which gives my modest brain ample room to occupy with work stuff. Boring, maybe, but at least its useful. And this causes me to thank God much more for making me be so passionate and interested in my job!

OK It's not all about me. Friends of mine who were in a relationship together for abt a year and a half recently broke up, so I just wanna say sorry for u guys. Maybe its better this way and you'll find better avenues later.

Then another friend pretty much got back together with her weird ass ex dude for umpteenth time. I don't know if its such a good idea but I'm happy for you guys and try to make this one last a bit longer yeah (a month and a half - or a plate of nasgor for me)

Nasgor.. Jakarta... Nice. I forgot to mention that all the photos of my Singapore Jakarta Bandung Nasgor Tour 2008 have been posted on my FB. Do feel free to browse. Since pictures say it all, I dont think I have to give you a narration of the whole trip. Just view the photos and let them do the talking.

Next trip in the planning phase is Bangkok Somewhere around the 12th-14th. However, I might have to been in BKI for that whole week for work, so I guess its either of the two. Then after that, there's probably gonna be a Phuket trip lying around somewhere end of March. I'm also interested in getting a Perhentian/Redang trip going for the KRC club either in early April or sometime close. Will have to check the books, cuz I might be in Hamburg early April. Fuh busy busy busy.

Will keep everyone updated.

"So I heard you've been having food poisoning eh?"
"ye la boss. It's really bad right now"
"You should get those chikit teck aun pills u know"
"dah. I finished a bottle already"
"Hehehe. Tu la. U look pale anyway."
"Yeah but our smart doctor tak kasi MC, I did mention it but I think she didn't hear me so I'm gonna stop by her clinic aga.."
"Yeah so anyway, the LOPA and UA reports ye, I want it by 5PM"
"ok" (fuck)




Tersadar didalam sepiku
Setelah jauh melangkah
Cahaya kasihmu menuntunku
Kembali dalam dekap tanganmu

Terima kasih cinta untuk segalanya
Kau berikan lagi kesempatan itu
Tak akan terulang lagi
Semua kesalahanku yang pernah menyakitimu

Tanpamu tiada berarti
Tak mampu lagi berdiri
Cahaya kasihmu menuntunku
Kembali dalam dekapan tanganmu

Terima kasih cinta untuk segalanya
Kau berikan lagi kesempatan itu
Tak akan terulang lagi
Semua kesalahanku yang pernah menyakitimu
-Afgan